SCHOOL'D IN SPECIFICITY

When Vinny and I were living in New York, as is the custom there for the most part, we ordered a lot of take out. We had our budget pizza place, our fancy pizza place, our Thai place, our Malaysian place, our Mexican place, our bbq place, and of course, our Chinese place.

Standing in the doorway, looking into our apartment, which was the delivery person's view, the most prominent thing was a big scroll with Chinese calligraphy hanging on the opposite wall. Whenever we ordered Chinese food, our delivery person's eyes would light up when we opened the door. They would always bow and point to the scroll over and over and glow.

Occidental friends liked it too and would ask what the characters meant, and I would always go right up to it in mock seriousness (as I am wont to do) and point to each character and say deliberately "Death to You Capatalistic Pigs!"

One day we decided that we really should find out what it meant, and so, the next time we ordered Chinese food, when the delivery man came, we asked "Do you read Chinese?" He got very excited. "Yes! Yes! I read Chinese!!" - so we invited him inside to look at the scroll.

He removed his shoes, came inside, stood in front of the scroll, and with a sense of gravity, pronounced each character in Chinese. When he was done, he stepped back, proudly, and beamed at us. We all stood there for a second, and then Vinny and I exclaimed at the same time, "Thank you!! Thank you!!" and gave him an extra 5$ on top of his tip.