No El

The mail brings the onslaught of Christmas Greetings from all over the world. Say it with me: I hate it. It's not that I don't appreciate the great tidings of comfort and joy from my friends and loved ones and people who have my address for some reason, it's just that it seems like such a waste of resources and energy.

It's one thing if you are sending me the latest pictures of your kids. Now THAT I appreciate. Who doesn't appreciate the feeling of time slipping through your fingers as reflected in the no longer a toddler faces of your friends' children? That sounds like I'm being sarcastic, but I swear I'm not. I actually like cards with photos in them, because hey - at least you are giving me a semblance of an update.

What I can't stand are the cards that have a greeting inside like Happy Holidays To You And Yours - and below it, the person has just signed their name. What the fuck? Why bother? Seriously, feel free to weigh in all angry at me and defend the boring signed Christmas Card but I just don't see the point and it almost makes me angry.

It's important to note that I am NOT endorsing the Holiday "NEWSLETTER". I don't like those either. With some exceptions -- last year I got one that I loved - it was from my friend Terry and it didn't come until February, which right off the bat made me laugh - but the letter was about her and her sister dealing with Katrina - so you know, INTERESTING - and it included a short handwritten note on the bottom telling me she was going to New Orleans for Mardi Gras -- where I myself was headed, and so I picked up the phone and called her and we ended up having a fantastic time in New Orleans together.

What have we learned thus far today?

Well, I don't like the impersonal signature cards and I don't like newsletters, so from this we can deduce that Kristen Is Annoying And Makes No Sense, or as I like to say, Kristen Is A Fascinating Creature Full of A Myriad Of Complexities.

For realz, I like it when people take the time to write a little note - it doesn't have to be long - but say something to me!

Oh and for the record - I don't send out Christmas Cards. So, once again I stick to some strange morality and live by some code that makes no impact on the world and, not to mention, kind of makes me look like a complete bitch.